Yesterday was a roller coaster day for me, a mixed bag of happy and sad but mostly sad. Raw motions were brought to the surface because of every day life events and heck, it was my birthday so I can cry if I want to, right?
I expected my birthday to be full of light and glittery birthday cake with color changing candles. I didn’t want to feel anything but warm fuzzy teddy bears and snuggles shielding me from every day life, but that didn’t happen. Yesterday was a day of reality pie and I didn’t want anything to do with it so I dropped to the floor, laid on my tummy and banged my hands and feet on the ground. Yes, I had temper tantrum. Not one that appeared on the outside, but one that simmered slowly on the inside. One that erased the smile from my face and made me feel really old. I was profoundly sad and felt like an orphan. I suddenly felt lost and couldn’t find my way back.
After going to bed, I reflected on the day. Still feeling sorry for myself I remembered an important spiritual tool I needed to dust off and use again. I made a mental list of what I was grateful for and my sadness slowly lifted. I felt a feeling of peace and comfort knowing it was all okay and I drifted off to sleep.
As I woke and started a new day, all the expectations of yesterday were gone and I had work to do. I thought again about the list I made the night before and it made me focus on what was important. To embrace and be grateful for everything no matter what.
Life is like a roller coaster, sometimes good sometimes bad. The connection to the spirit is my seat belt and I must fasten it securely and enjoy the ride.