Fear Again

That damned pinching sensation has returned in my left pelvis area and each day I am noticing it more and more. I am wondering if focusing on it is making it worse, but it is a feeling I cannot ignore.
I see my oncologist in about ten days and I will tell her about it then, but in the meantime, I am trying not to be consumed with fear. I am sure that all cancer patients live with the fear of recurrence, so I know I am not alone.
Last night I crawled into the comfort of my bed at 7pm and began to read an Elizabeth Kubler Ross book. I decided to face the subject of death head on, because it is a fact of life that we will all face eventually. I would rather face it much later, than sooner that is for sure.
It’s a good practice to prepare for the worst and hope for the best, but in the meantime, I will continue to work, play and live, one day at a time.

About Karen Elaine

Artist, author and teacher.
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2 Responses to Fear Again

  1. Ron says:

    Karen, I don’t normally check your site while I’m at work, but I hadn’t heard anything from you either here or via email for a few days, and had a feeling in my gut that something was up. I just folded a pink crane for you(from a “while you were out” pad on my desk!).
    Be strong, my friend. You’re right about the fear of recurrence, it never goes away, but cancer warriors like us survive!!!!! Promise you’ll call the oncologist if things get worse in the next couple of days – don’t wait.
    liveSTRONG
    -Ron

    Like

  2. Mary Anne Rhodes says:

    Karen: Be strong…you have come such a long way with this…and know that so many of us are praying for you. You have been such an inspiration to me during this medical process.
    Mary Anne

    Like

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