The Big Test

I have been an emotional mess these past couple of days. More breast troubles. More tests, more damned needle sticks in my tired veins and more scans. My left breast is swollen and inflamed, not a good thing, so my oncologist is hoping to rule out the worst, which would be inflammatory breast cancer and hoping for the best, truncal lymphedema and an infection.
I can’t stop crying. I miss my Mom and my Dad. I want them to tell me everything will be okay. I am thinking, that if I break a fingernail, I will snap.
I will be strong. I am strong. I will be okay.

About Karen Elaine

Artist, author and teacher.
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4 Responses to The Big Test

  1. Clintine says:

    Karen, You ARE strong. Who else could keep up with a blog plus all the while coping with the trauma of so many stressful situations. You have gone through more in the past year than the rest of us might experience in an ENTIRE LIFETIME.
    Cut the fingernails to reduce the risk of snapping. 10 less chances to reduce you to the breaking point.
    I don’t know how tall you are, but you are a giant in my eyes. I would still be under the covers if I had to cope with even ONE of the events you have had to deal with in the past year.
    Now, focus on your birthday (share the date?)and ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE ENVELOPED BY THE LOVE THAT SURROUNDS YOU and CELEBRATE YOUR STRONG SELF!
    Sending you paper cranes of love and rays of gardenia scented healing warmth,
    Clintine

    Like

  2. Ron says:

    YOU are stong; you ARE strong; you are STRONG. Say it as often as you need to – it’s the truth; never forget that. Today more than ever, my thoughts are of you and your wonderful strength.

    Like

  3. Kenji says:

    You are a strong woman who will endure. Believe it and know it.

    Like

  4. Susan says:

    I just read the newspaper article about you, and felt immediately compelled to contact you. I am a two-time Breast Cancer survivor. My second bout was last year, after having taken care of my mother, my best friend for two years as she died from Ovarian Cancer. My mom would pat my fuzzy head and tell me I was going to be okay. Losing her was the hardest thing that has ever happened to me. I am only 42 years old and wonder about my son who is 12, and hope to be there when he is grown up. I love your website, and will visit often to check in with you. You are an inspiration, and I will pray for you every day.

    Like

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