Letting Go

I am trying not to feel discouraged but I am definately frustrated. Yesterday, I was all ready for chemo and they decided to postpone it for another week to see if the neuropathy improves. My feet are cold, painful and numb and my fingers tingle. I told my doctor that losing the use of my hands is unacceptable since there is a chance the damage could be permanent. She told me the alternative ways of administering the offending drug and after thinking about it last night I have decided that I don’t want Taxol in my body any more. I believe it is causing more harm than help, so I am on a crusade for an alternate treatment.
I am scheduled for a second MRI this afternoon to see what the back pain is all about. I wonder what else is in store for me. I was hoping this would be over soon, but am having to take little detours.
I have to accept the fact that my life is not the same as it was before the diagnosis. I have to let go of the neat little schedule I worked out for this and take it one day at a time.
I know that things will get better over time, and time is what I have to be grateful for.

About Karen Elaine

Artist, author and teacher.
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